She wore heels

Yesterday was the big day.

I had 3 interviews scheduled in the morning, which actually turned into 4.

They went great.   When I look back, I realize that these were almost easy interviews.

 Everyone I spoke with was so incredibly kind and the conversations just flowed.

Things are moving in a very positive direction.

***

I did want to let everyone know that I wore heels to the interview.

A classy, low, square heel.

No bunny slippers.

Partly because I don't own any.

Mostly because...

Well....you know.
I would like to send a great big 'thank-you' to the kind family at church who pulled up next to me in the parking lot and offered to get me a pair of bunny-slippers for the next morning if I needed them.

That offer was deeply appreciated.

And I would have considered accepting the offer, but the interview outfit I had packed just didn't go with bunny slippers.

Maybe next time?

Funny Dreams

I woke up yesterday morning with a headache and clenched jaw.

This might have something to do with it:

I was in a large conference room with a panel of interviewers.  In the corner was a small couch in which I was laying down on, while still in my jammies and fluffy bunny slippers. {Which is hilarious because I don't wear or own a pair of slippers let alone bunny slippers.}  Sitting at the table (looking professional) was the other candidate for the position.  Apparently we were to have a debate to see who would 'win' the job.  

I sleepily answered each question.  Knowing I had no chance against this woman.  

Especially after my kids appeared in the room and started bickering.  

The managers asked me if I would consider actually getting off the couch and joining them at the table.  I sleepily agreed. 

As I stumbled to the table, the other candidate made fun of me and mocked me.  (Who wouldn't???  I was at an interview in pajamas and bunny slippers with my three fussy kids!!) 

The panel of judges told her to be quiet.  That she just lost out on the job because 'they don't like mean people to work there and apparently I have a sense of humor for showing up dressed like that and they like people who are likable.'    

Then, thankfully, I woke up.

Anyone care to decipher the meaning behind this dream?  There is the obvious I'm nervous about the interviews.

But,  BUNNY SLIPPERS??

Where do they fit into the picture?    

let me believe it {if only just for a moment}

Someone needed a ride to Connecticut.

Of course, they asked me if I was going anytime soon.

I wasn't planning to go. 

But who says we always need to have a plan?

I figured it would be a good time to get the kids back out to reconnect with some friends.

And maybe even hit the beach.

Especially since most of the gas would be paid for :-)
***
I thought it might be good to mention to the place where I have been interviewing that I will be back in Hartford for a few days.

I was right.

I now have 2 interviews set up for Monday with 2 managers at each interview.

Possibly more.

What is more shocking is that they are considering me for not just the position they originally mentioned, but a second one as well.

I can't begin to describe how that makes me feel.

Stunned surprise and excitement are a few adjectives that come to mind.

Neither job is officially mine.

I still need to get through the interviews.

In the meantime I'm going to thank God for the opportunities and the people who have opened doors for me.
***
To think that less than four years ago I was the abused wife of a drug-user.  I had no self-worth or confidence.  Yet something deep inside made me pull through and fight back.

Satan came to me tonight and told me that I'm not worthy of this.  I'm not good enough.  I'm not capable.  My head is swarming with self-doubt.

I'm going to fight that.  I'm not going to talk myself into thinking I'm not capable of this, not worth this, or not good enough of a person to get something like this.  I'm going to let myself believe, for just a moment, that maybe they see something in me that is good and capable and strong.  It feels good to think that.

I hope you do not read those words as words of pride, but read them as words coming from someone who is starting to catch small glimpses of good in herself.  To accept herself for who she is and who God made her to be. Even though she is different and humorously quirky, there might be something there that is good.

Chapstick {A most thoughtful gift}

Today at church, a reader lifelong friend {who now lives out of state} came up to me.

She said she enjoys reading what I write here and had something for me.

She pulled a multi-pack of chapstick from her purse.

Fun flavored chapstick

She said she read in my Mother's Day post that I love chapstick and wanted to get me a little something to cheer me on.

Isn't that the sweetest thing? Ever?

Thank you, Jodi.  It meant the world to me.

Isn't it funny how the littlest things mean the most?

I'm going to do something little for someone this week.

I challenge you all to do the same!   

Can I be honest?

Can I be honest about the real reason I'm anxious about getting this job?

There are the obvious reasons:

• I need a job {other than the hundred part time jobs I currently work}
• We are ready to move.  Ready on so many different levels.

But the scariest thought of not getting the job is the reaction I will have.

I can read in the Bible that God wants good for me.

Sometimes I have a hard time believing it. 

There.  I said it.

I'm sure many of you will gasp in shock that I would think it, let alone admit it.

Trust me, its not something I'm proud about.  

***
Today I was listening to a sermon and he said:

"If you are a believing Christian who still has anxieties, then those anxieties are about things you haven't totally surrendered to God. Things you are keeping control of."

I did the whole "Pfff..what do you know.  My nature is to always be anxious about things.  I can't help it to be anything but anxious about everything, all the time."

Then I thought about it.  If I have a deep seeded doubt that God truly does have good for me, then of course everything will make me anxious.

Especially this job thing.

I want to find ways to make sure I get it.  Make sure it happens before the kids start school.  Make sure that it happens when and how I want it to happen.

I'm pleading with God to make it happen. 

And still I'm hanging on to the control of getting the job.

Do you ever do this?  Or am I the only irrational one?

The minister went on to say that we will never be fully at peace until we let God completely have our burdens.  We need to hand it to Him and let Him keep it.  We shouldn't keep checking in on Him to make sure He still has control over it.

Instead we need to thank Him for taking the burden from us. 

Then I realized that I do only pray asking God to make sure I get this job.  I'm 'checking in' on Him many, many times throughout the day.  Instead I need to thank Him many, many times a day for taking that load off of me.

***
This is going to be a struggle for me.  It's going to be hard to let it go completely.

But on second thought...its been a rather enjoyable evening to be relaxed instead of uptight and grumping at my kids.

There might be some truth to the letting God have it :-)

Don't Worry...Be Happy

I've been stressing the entire past month today.

I don't expect to hear anything from my latest interview quite yet;

but I was still secretly hoping I would today.

So when I didn't hear anything.

I stressed.

And worried.

And let that knot of whatiffs and howells build up in my gut.

Riley said he had the solution.  The boy who loves to take care of me and solve my problems.

"Go to YouTube and type in 'Don't Worry.  Be Happy.'"

He made me listen to it.

Isn't he sweet?  Trying to help me relax.

It made me smile...except for the parts where there are misspelled words.

Those did not make me smile.

:-) Hah :-)

***

I just closed my eyes.

And listened.

Tonight I am going to concentrate on just being happy. 

'Cuz I do have a lot to be happy about. 

***

Today I went to visit my cousin/reallygoodfriend.  Her boy and my boy are really good buddies and wanted to see each other today. 

Jody and I were looking through old yearbooks and I came across a picture of someone I didn't know. (He was quite a bit older than me).  I told her "I don't know him at all. But this picture and every other picture I have seen of him in the yearbook makes me think that he is a very happy person.  Even though you can't hear a picture, his smile looks more like mid-laughter than a smile.  He just looks so happy." 

The little boy she babysits looked at me and said "Kinda like you?"  

That stopped me dead in my tracks.  

It made me feel good. 

But it made me feel like a fraud.

I'm not always a happy, happy person.   I can get consumed with my personal stresses too easy.  Which makes me unhappy. 

I know it isn't realistic to just 'not ever worry and always be happy'....

But couldn't I worry less and be happy more?

Quotes. {Some thoughtful. Some insightful. Many are funny.}

I had fun doing the previous quotes posts.  

I thought I might make 'Quotes' a regular visitor to my blog. 

Some are thoughtful. And make me think. 

Some are insightful. And encourage me through this journey.

Some are funny.  And make me laugh a little too hard. 

Many are displays of my odd sense of humor.  

***

Enjoy: