Anticipation

Anticipation.

That is the only word I can think to use to sum up my feelings. 

I could use: stressed, excited, nervous, fearful

But anticipation seems to sum all of them up.

I have always been one to use analogies.

To explain things and teach others
(thanks Dad for teaching me this trick)

It even helps me understand myself when I am feeling overwhelmed.

And lately there has been plenty of feelings of overwhelmed.

Then this morning it hit me.

I know how to describe how I feel.

I am four years old.

There is a huge Christmas tree in my living room. Decorated to the hilt.

Underneath that tree is a gorgeous gift.  With my name on it.

My Father tells me it is mine.

My dream gift.  What I  have wanted for my entire life.

But I cannot open it until the special day.

But because I am only a young child, I cannot read a calendar.

I am clueless as to when Christmas is.

I have no idea if it is tomorrow or next week.

I know it must be soon.

But when?

Living in Connecticut has been a dream and desire of mine since I was a child.

It has always felt like home.

And will someday be my home.

My Father has wrapped this special gift up for me.

But it isn't quite time for me to open it and enjoy the bountiful gift.

I know the special day is coming soon.  I just am not sure when exactly.

The little girl in me keeps staring at the unopened gift...anxiously waiting for the day.

Waiting...in anticipation.