I remember sitting in 7th grade Science class studying geography and the like.
I remember studying rip tides and the thought terrified me. I imagined playing in the surf, close to shore and then all of a sudden, without warning, being swept out to sea. I imagined the terror of being lost at sea forever. Most likely my wild imagination made things worse for me but I will never forget my fear of rip tides.
My fear came true. I've experienced being drug back out to sea by a rip tide.
I was paddling to shore. I was so close to my destination. It was within sight. Almost within reach and all of a sudden I hit the current and was pushed back out to sea.
I still know my destination. I still have faith that I am paddling in the right direction. Things are just not going smoothly. I'm experiencing some rough waters. Some might call it a storm.
Through this storm I was feeling very alone. God seemed to be so very far away. I know in my head He is so close. He is carrying me through this. I know in my head He has a plan. He will be glorified through me fighting this tide.
But my heart?
My heart feels so alone. But I'm trusting. I'm patiently paddling my little boat. I'm fighting for all I'm worth, knowing that someday I will come ashore and it will be wonderful.
Today, I was listening to a sermon. The subject was 'storms of life'. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the story of the disciples in the boat, on the Sea of Galilee. The one where Jesus was tired and went to sleep and the storms came.
Just like me. Just like right now. Jesus isn't 'asleep'. But He is silent. For the time. I need to have faith that this quiet isn't accidental. It is to strengthen me. It is to make me stronger. I need to stop fighting the storm myself and just rest in Him and wait it out. I do not have the physical, emotional or mental strength to fight this storm. I might as well rest next to Jesus while it roars around me.