Friday, February 28, 2014

Winter Beach {Rocky Neck}

The email came a few weeks ago.

"Are you planning to be in Hartford any time soon?  We have an opening we would like to bring you in and speak with you about"

In fact, I was planning a trip to Hartford for a bit of networking.

I only had one day free on my trip to spend there and the time was to be determined depending on the team's scheduled.  I wouldn't find out until later exactly how many I would interview with and how long the sessions would be.

I flew in on a Monday and didn't have anything scheduled that afternoon.  I wanted to, but was afraid if bad weather hit and my flights were delayed I would be a wreck.  Instead I decided to have some me time.  Take the time to spend alone and do what I wanted...without rushing.

I picked up my rental car and drove downtown to stake out the place I was going to on Tuesday. I hadn't been there before, unlike the other place which I had been to twice before.  I easily found the parking lot, etc and then went on to the next stop.

The beach.

I needed to go to the place where I first met God.

Long story, but when I was 20 years old I was running wild.  During a trip east I drove myself to the southern part of Conn and visited this beach.  It was empty that Saturday morning, in mid-October, and quite serene.  It was there I came face to face with the realization I needed a Savior.

It was at the same beach, 10 years later, I had pictures done with my children.
Its not a remarkable beach.  Actually, rather boring in the summer with large crowds and small-ish waves.  Its actually one of my least favorites during the summer crowds.  But off-season?  Its where I want to be.

I pulled in to the parking lot and was rather surprised to find a half dozen cars.  I thought I was the only crazy one who would go to the beach in February.

I walked under the stone bridge and was not let down.  The peace that I needed met me there.

I've been to this beach in the summer.  Its not the same.  There is the busy-ness of the crowd and the lack of space.

What I found on Monday was what I needed.  An empty beach and the only noise was the noise of the seagulls chattering in the breeze.

I found that the ocean is more beautiful in the winter than it is in the summer.

I walked down to the edge of the water and walked a bit, then finding a spot on the rocks to just sit.  And think.  No rushing, no pressure.  Just sit.  And look.

I had a big week ahead of me.  Decisions would be made that would be life-altering.  This week could prove to be another letdown or it could be the catalyst that makes my dream come true.  I needed time to sit and think and pray.
 I climbed off the rocks and walked a bit more down the beach.  The air was warm(er) and the sun was shining through an almost cloudless sky.  I can't wait to be close enough to run down to the beach every winter.

I found a bench and sat, closing my eyes in the sunshine.  It was exactly what I needed and found refreshment in the salty-air.

I looked down at my watch and was surprised to see that almost an hour had passed.  I had a dinner invitation and had about an hour drive.  I needed to go, but had to peel myself away.

 I had no idea what would happen over the next few days.  I was terrified either way.  No matter what would happen would bring change, and I am tired of change.

The next few days would prove to be amazing.  Like a dream.  I am speechless at some of the things that transpired.

I can't write too much.  I've learned from the past that nothing is guaranteed.

But this time feels different.

Only time will tell.

(And if you can get to a New England beach in the winter time...GO! Nothing compares with the beauty.)

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Missing Him

Anyone who has lost anyone special to them knows that something, anything, anytime, can trigger memories of that person.

That is so often with my dad.

Things that you think would make me miss him doesn't.

While things that you think wouldn't do.

Not sure what made me ache for him tonight, but something did.

I look at the many pictures of him on my refrigerator and am shocked that he is actually gone.

This feeling surprises me.

He's been gone 13 years.

Thir.teen. very, very long.long. years.

And I realize that I'm surprised I've made it this far without him, but wonder if I can survive tomorrow without him.

I'm surprised how much I am starting to resemble him.  I have always looked like my mom, but have the personality of my dad.  But I see myself in his pictures.  And that makes me miss him even more.

Maybe it was the email I received tonight. The email telling me they are scheduling me for interviews for a a place I could only dream of getting in to.  Maybe the idea that I can't call him and tell him. Maybe its knowing he isn't here to watch me follow my dreams. And succeed.  Maybe its just because I'm tired of being strong and I need him to pick me up and give me a bear hug and tell me how much he loves me.  Maybe I just am tired of missing him.  Maybe I'm just sick and tired of living life without him.


Many could argue with me, but I would always win this argument....he was the best.  Nothing will ever make me think differently about him.  He is my hero.  I looked up to him then.  And I look up to him now.

Even though 13 years later the pain is still unbearable, I wouldn't want to exchange him for anyone else.  I had the best dad in the entire world.  He loved me like no one else ever has or ever will and even though he broke my heart by leaving me here, I still love him more than anything and am so thankful I had the privilege of having him as my father.   So much of who I am is because of him and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

I just wish he was here to see me now.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What a day. {And what a spoiled girl I am!}

What a day.  And what a spoiled girl I am.

So many cards with so many fun things tucked inside.  One card had $34 and some Valentines for the kids.  How thoughtful!!

So many texts wishing me a happy day and countless messages on Facebook as well.

My day started out normal.  Picked up the kids at moms (I worked last night).  I found a container of cupcakes (I LOVE cupcakes!!!) along with a card and a gift card to Target. (Actually...2 gift cards. One from mom and one from Tricie.

Did everyone see how gorgeous it was this morning?  The trees were laden with diamonds twinkling in the early morning sunlight. The snow was spraying little puffs of sparklers in the wind. As if dancing one last dance before spring starts to push in.

I drove past the orchard on the way to moms.  The trees stood still in their rows with white lace wrapped around their branches, breathing in the misty veil that hung over them.  I wanted to stop, get out, and walk through the frozen mist. And breathe the beauty in.

I drove the kids to school.  I cleaned a house today and then this afternoon did a bit of shopping.  I had  some gift certificates that needed to be spent :-) I found curtains for my bedroom and I am so excited with what I found.  I made it home with a few minutes to spare before the kids walked home from school.  *Finally...its warm enough that they can walk home.  Amazing how warm it feels now that the temperature hit double digits.  Heat wave, for sure!

Earlier in the day I had gotten a text from a special someone who is a close friend to my mom.  She never forgets our birthdays and even gives each of my kids (and nieces and nephew) a gift for their day as well.  She said she wanted to bring me dinner because she knows how busy I am.  She delivered a huge box of food filled with yummy goodness. (enough food to last us THREE meals...YEAH!!!)  I wish I was more thoughtful and had more time to do things like that for people.  Maybe someday?

Last week, after blowing up on my blog, I received an email from my friend in St. Louis.  She sent me an online Pizza Hut gift card.  How awesome is that?

 At the time I wanted to use it IMMEDIATELY, but knew that this week was going to be more hectic than last so I was saving it for tonight.  My friend Diane met us at Pizza Hut and we had a great time.  We are both so busy with work and such so its a rare treat that we get to do something together.

I had a great day.  I was with my kids, with my friend, and was spoiled rotten by everyone.

Thank you to everyone who sent their love and so many said they are praying for what lies ahead this coming year.  It made me want to cry each time I read it.  I am so blessed!  

Caution: you room has just been Strigified!

I left work late tonight.  I clocked out on time, but sat around and chatted with my co-workers.  I was feeling a little bit pouty, if I can admit it.  I know I'm getting old and birthdays don't really matter anymore, but the thought of going home to an empty house just seemed hard.  Well, almost empty house.  I have the guinea pigs.

Once I got home, I noticed there was a note on the door.
 I was so surprised.  I didn't realize I left the garage door unlocked so I was surprised that there was a note.

There was more waiting for me inside!

On my bedroom door:
Then in my bedroom:
(Excuse the unmade was a very long/busy day with an early start :-)

On the bed was a card and two gifts.  

"I could'n have asked for a better mom.  How did I get so lucky?"- Rhianna

"love u mom  I picked this card out for u luv u" - Riley

"give me a R give me a eagan that what you spell Reagan"  love, Reagan.

( cute is this?  And I was crying at this point!!!)

My kids are the best.  Ever.

And I have a pretty amazing sister as well :-)

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Date Nut Cake {an attempt at mastering Cleveland's famous cake}

Anyone who has worked with me knows that I like to bring in goodies to work.

I jokingly say its to make and keep friends.

But there is some truth to it :-)

I work every weekend, while everyone else works every other.  My one set of weekenders knows to watch for the Tupperware with the red lid.  That means there are cookies or some sort of treat. One night I stepped of the elevator and heard:

 "LOOK there's the red Tupperware!!!"

Um...glad to see you all too.  Haha.

I have a variety of things I bake and have gotten bored with them.  I could make most of them in my sleep while teaching a monkey to do it.  So one night I asked them what they like...I wanted a challenge.

Jerry told me about this cake that is made by 2 bakeries in Cleveland.  The story is that years ago a man by the name of Dick Baker had a bakery that sold a famous Date Nut cake.  After he retired (or passed...not sure) his daughters bickered and split.  They both took the recipe and now there are 2 bakeries in Cleveland that sell this cake: Dick's Bakery.  And Baker's Bakery.  I guess each claim to sell the best date nut cake in Cleveland.

Jerry went on to tell me that all Irish Catholics from Cleveland have a date nut cake for every birthday and every celebrations.  I'm not sure if the *all* was exaggerated or not, but this cake seemed very special to him. It was obvious that it is a big deal to have a date nut cake.  Who woulda thought?

I immediately was up for the challenge.  I started researching it and trying to find a recipe. I found all kinds of information on this cake.  But no recipe.  I did find that there are people who live all over the country (Cleveland natives) that will FLY IN to Cleveland just to pick up one these cakes for their birthday.  So maybe he wasn't exaggerating when he said *ALL* Cleveland natives love this cake.

I finally found a blog that claimed to have made up a recipe that mimicked it.  The author's wife was from Cleveland and agreed it tasted exactly the same.

Jerry kept laughing while I was getting information from him about this cake. I'm still not sure if he was laughing at me or laughing because he was so excited to get a date nut cake.

I couldn't wait to make this cake.  I love a challenge and I love to bake.  It is my stress reliever. Not to mention how awesome would that be if I actually made a cake that was the same as a famous bakery?

Date Nut Cake 
(This is single layer cake, double for layered cake)
3/4 cup milk
1/2 cup chopped dates
1/3 cup shortening
1/3 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1 3/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease and flour your pan.

Warm the milk and dates in a pan or microwave until warm.  Let sit for 10 minutes.

In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda.  Cream the shortening in the mixer.  Add sugars and continue to cream for 2 more minutes.  Add vanilla and one egg.  Mix until combined.  Scrape.  Add another egg.  Mix until completely combined.

Add 1/3 of the flour mixture.  Mix on low until combined.  Scrape the bowl.  Add 1/2 of the milk mixture.  Mix until combined.  Continue until all the flour and milk is added.  Mix in the walnuts making sure everything is combined. 

Pour into a 9" round or 8x8" square.  

Bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes.  Let cool for 15 minutes before removing from pan.  

I sliced off the tops to make a nice even cake for layering. 

Nibbling on the cut off tops, I was pleased that it wasn't disgusting.  It tasted good.  Jerry described it as a spice cake, and this cake has no spice and didn't taste like a spice cake.  I knew then it was not the same as a Baker's Bakery cake.  But since I had never had one, I wasn't 100% sure.  I decided to journey on and finish the cake.  

White Frosting
*I doubled this recipe.  I should have make a third batch.

1/3 cup shortening
1/3 cup butter at room temp
5 oz powdered sugar, sifted
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
3-4 Tbsp warm water

Cream shortening, butter, sugar, salt, and vanilla. (Use the whisk attachment.  It fluffs up so much better).  Add water, 1 Tbsp at a time, to the creamed mixture.  Once all the water is added, whip on high for a few minutes until light and fluffy.

  It layered nicely and went together perfectly.  I put it in the freezer to firm up before putting on the final layer of frosting and the decorative walnuts.


Once it was nicely firm,  I took it out of the freezer and put the final layer of frosting on the cake.  I have never used nuts on the sides of a cake, so I wasn't sure if I was going to mess up the entire cake at this point.

I thought it turned out pretty good.  For a first attempt at a layered nut cake.  Edible at least.


I took it in to work and we had to wait awhile until things quieted down long enough to cut in to the cake.  Not to mention it was still a little (or a lot) frozen.

I passed the test.


He said it was really good but it wasn't the same as a Baker's Bakery cake.

Their's was fluffier (I noticed this batter was more like a banana bread batter, not a cake batter) and their's had a spice to it.

I need to do some more research.  Or make up my own recipe.


Making an exact replica of the cake wasn't really about the cake.  Its about accepting challenges and going for it.  It is who I am.  I thrive on them. It is what makes me tick and what keeps me going.

It is when someone tells me that no one can do something, in this case make a cake just like the famous Cleveland one, that I look them in the eye and say 'watch me'.  It is about doing what it takes to succeed and beat a challenge.

Even though this cake was not an exact replica, it still felt like a success.  I've only make 2 other layered cakes before in my life.  One was a MASSIVE flop and the other one a friend (professional cake decorator) helped me layer it.  I've always been afraid of making layered cakes.

Now that I know I can do it, I'm ready to take on my next challenge of a layered cake for this weekend.

Stay tuned :-)

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Wow! She's Really OLD...

This morning around 4 am, I took a quick break at work to eat a bowl of cereal.

The Olympics were on the television in the break room and I half-watched them to help me stay awake.  

They announced a skier (or something like that) and said she was 34. 

I thought to myself:

Wow.  She's really old. 


I'll be 34. 

This week. 

Guess its official. 

I'm old.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

The Names of God

One thing I am enjoying most about being in my 30's is that I finally don't care that I'm weird.

Instead I embrace it.

And I think what I just put on my wall could be classified as weird.

And I don't care.

In fact, I love it :-) :-)

I've been wanting to do something like this for a few years but never had the guts.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe its because I knew I could never get it quite perfect (its NOT perfect, but its done:-)  Or maybe because its different, a little odd.  I mentioned this idea to a friend a few years back.  She just smiled and said "That sounds like you."  I think she meant it as a compliment...I'll just assume that it was.

I wanted to put a collection of the names of God on my wall.  A BIG piece of art.  I first got the idea when I started decorating with vinyl lettering from the home based parties.  But the idea I had in mind would cost hundreds.  So I never did it.

I was given a Cricut a few years ago and over time I acquired vinyl from one project or another.  Here was the opportunity to make my creation for pennies instead of hundreds :-)

After Thursday and finishing my project in my bedroom, I woke up Friday with the creative itch still scratching.  I decided to tackle this project while the kids were at school and before I had to go to work.  I had better other things to do like clean the bathroom and sweep the kitchen floor, but decided that could wait for another day.

In researching what names I would put up, I originally came up with putting the name of God with the meaning below it.  But that soon seemed too boring, too cut and dry.  In searching names and ideas online, I mixed a few and came up with my own concept.  It wasn't planned, I just went along as I worked.  Adding new names here and there and making new ideas up.

When I went to get the colors of vinyl, I was stuck between ivory and brown.  I decided to put names of God in ivory and names of Jesus in brown and mix them all together.

I put these on my wall to remind me of who God is.  It is far from perfect.  I've already peeled letters off to adjust them and I probably will fix a few more.  But its done.  Its up there and its legible.  I finally decided that if I waited until I had the time to do it perfect, it wouldn't get done at all.  {I'm sure my graphic designer friends are nauseous at the sight of the crookedness...I'm sorry!}

I have more to put on the other side.  I'm not done with the wall.  I have boxes still to unpack.  I almost cropped the boxes in the corner out of the picture; embarrassed I still have boxes to unpack, but decided if I can post pictures of imperfect art, I can post pictures of unpacked boxes.

There are many, many more names that I could list.  I only chose the names that stood out to me.

Emmanuel: God is with us
Abba: Father (A favorite...since I lost my dad I sometimes cry to Abba.  Its much more personal that just saying Dear God.  Try it :-)
Yahweh/Jehovah: This is God's name. (Yahweh: Hebrew  Jehovah: translated).
Yahweh is probably my most favorite name of God.  It is HIS name.  All god's have names (think Zeus, Methuselah, etc....all are false gods, but considered gods to some)  using God's name we can set Him apart from other (false) gods.  We can speak His name.  When I am at my lowest, I often call to Yahweh.
El Elyon: The Most High God
El Shaddai: Lord God Almighty
Adonai: Lord, Master

One thing that I love about the idea that God has so many names is the concept that He is too big for just one name.  He needs a multitude of names to describe Him.  Look them up; study them. Get to know God in all that He is.

Study His names.  Think about a friend...if you just called them Boy or Girl... how impersonal that relationship would be?!  But if you called them by name or better yet, meaningful nicknames, think how close your relationship would be.  To know their name(s), you would have to spend time with them, invest time in them, love them.  Shouldn't it be that way with God?  Should we just call Him God (in the generic term) or should we know Him by His name?  The same way He knows us by all of our names?

Thursday, February 6, 2014


Oh my! What routine and structure can do for a person.

Maybe its because I'm slightly OCD?

Or maybe its because my life has had too much trauma and I like control?

Or maybe its because I have so much going on that routine and structure are my survival?

Either way, I like routine.  I like structure :-)

It was a wonderful and amazing day.

The day off I had been anxiously on for weeks.

The kids went to school.  The sun shone.  And the snow glittered like diamonds.

I baked a cake for this weekend at work.
(More on that later :-)

I made cupcakes for a birthday party at work next week and saved a few to celebrate Ronald Reagan's birthday with the kids tonight.  After all, when you have a little boy named after him, it is a must that you celebrate his birthday with a cupcake!!

I did a bit of cleaning and while I was cleaning I found the most delightful thing:

A bud on a hydrangea plant.  

Last year someone dropped off a gorgeous hydrangea with a note and some money.  The note said "I love you...lean on me.  Love, Jesus."  

I never knew who gave it to me.  

I don't know if they know or just somehow knew that hydrangea's are my favorite. 

I had it in the garage, but it was so cold in there, I brought it inside and put it on my window seat for some sunshine. 

Today I noticed some buds.  

Spring is coming! 

Even if its inside my house. 

It gave me hope that winter is not forever! 


I finished a project that has been on my list for months (and months!)  

It wasn't really a necessary project, but a fun one.  One that I never felt was worth spending time on.  But I let myself take the time today.  And I LOVE how it turned out! 

A long, long time ago, we bought fencing to build a fence.  Well, like most things, Randy never got around to finishing it (or even starting it. hah).  I didn't want to just throw it all away, so I saved some of the boards for some fun Pinterest projects to spark my imagination and create my own ideas. 

I spray painted the boards (did that last fall when it was warm) and made them look beach worn.  Not a solid/even spray.  Today I finally took the time to sand them down and put them up.  Add a few fun things and I have a new headboard. 

I stuck the boards to the wall with 3M tacky stuff.  Hoping it holds.  If some boards seem to start slipping, I'll have to get out my hammer and nails.  That's always an adventure.  

I love the picture I have hanging.  Many reasons why I want it right over my bed.   

A good friend drew it for me to give to someone really struggling.  I had to keep a copy and frame it for myself. 

It is the second verse of  'The Solid Rock'.  It was my dad's favorite hymn and was sang at his funeral.  I chose it only because it was his favorite, only realizing years later how appropriate it was for that day. 

When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace; 
In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the vale.
On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand; 
All other ground is sinking sand, All other ground is sinking sand! 

I spent some time throughout the day sitting and sipping coffee.  I spent time relishing the quiet.  I needed this day.  I had time for the pause that refreshes. 

I walked to the school to get the kids.  It was cold, but worth getting out in the sunshine.  The snow glittered and the fresh air was refreshing. 

This evening, I grabbed my phone to call my Grandma.  Looking at it I realized I missed a call from work hours earlier. (I accidentally left it on vibrate...oops!) Not sure what they wanted, probably needed me to come in.  I felt a twinge of guilt for not hearing my phone and then stopped myself.  

Tomorrow is back to work.  I work later on in the day, so I'll have a quiet morning to myself.  

Tomorrow starts a hectic week.  But that's okay.  I'm ready for it.  Today, I took time to breathe. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Grumpy Mom

If I was a cat this would be my picture.

Grumpy cat.


This winter needs to be over yesterday.

I was taking the cold, the grey, the blech in stride but today has pushed me past tolerating it to screaming at it.

It started with yesterday, last week, last September.


K' so its been basically brewing for awhile and blew today.

I worked 5 nights in a row.  Not a big deal...right?  Normal people work 5 days in a row so what I am complaining about.

Nights are not the same.  Trust me.   And it wasn't 5 straight night shift.  It was switching around from shift to shift.  Starting with one the first night to flop to another for 2 nights and back for 2 more.

Not really a big deal, but making me anxious for my days off nonetheless.

Trying to do what I could to help myself through the last few days, I prepped some meals Monday night including a crock pot meal.

Tuesday morning after I dropped the kids off school, I ate my breakfast/bedtime snack and put the crock on low.

I went to bed dreaming of my Italian Beef.

I try to get up when the kids come home from school.  And I usually do.  But there are the times when I hear them come in the house, roll over and I go back to sleep.

That happened Monday.

I wasn't overly concerned because I knew I had dinner ready.

I woke up to an argument, putting me in a most pleasant mood.

It was time to get up anyhow so I got up, broke up the argument and made a pot of coffee while three spastic kids tried to sell me magazines for a sale they just started at school that day.

I get it.

They're excited and the salesman did a great job of pumping the up and wanting them to sell, sell, sell.

But in my defense imagine waking up first thing in the morning to 3 whiny salesmen trying to sell you multiple magazine subscriptions. (If you have been dying to subscribe to a magazine and just didn't know how to go about getting one, I can hook you up with a salesperson from my team of salespeople.:-)

Their sales pitch did not go over well.

I may or may not have snapped at them.  Begging them to just let me get some coffee in me.

It was at this point I noticed there was no yummy smell.  No Italian Beef warm yummy smell wafting through the air.

Feeling the edge of my crockpot proved what I feared.


Just a slab of uncooked yet deliciously seasoned hunk of meat.

This is all going on while one of my children was picking on the other two and all three were screaming and I was looking around and realizing that they had walked in the door and dropped everything on the floor.  Hats, gloves, coats, bookbags.  From the door all the way to the coat hooks was a trail of wintery things.

I may or may not have yelled.

We stumbled through the night having pancakes and eggs for dinner (at least no one complained about dinner).

I took them to moms and put them to bed so I could go finish my 5 in a row.  I was anxiously waiting my 2 days off in a row.

Because I clean houses on the side, on my days off, it has been since September that I have had 2 days off from work of one kind or another.  This week, the family that I clean for was on vacation so I wasn't needed.  Which meant I get 2 whole days off in a row.

I have been waiting for these 2 glorious days for a few weeks now.  Counting down the days excitedly waiting for these days.

Then it snowed.

And snowed.

And snowed.

The automated call came through to my desk at 5 am this morning.

I may or may not have snapped into the phone at the recorded call.

My shift ended by getting snapped at by an unreasonable doctor asking for things that I can't get him.   He is always can be mean and ridiculous.  He had no idea how close he was to meeting his match this morning :-)

I came home and started some laundry, waiting on mom's text saying the kids were awake.  (She did offer to keep them, but I wanted them home...not sure what I was thinking)

Once we made the snowy drive home, we had a great breakfast.  I told them that the day depended on them.  It could be fun, filled with fun projects or it could be bad.

I wanted to sleep for a little bit.  Just a couple hours. Is that too much to ask?

They were told to quietly clean their rooms and then read.  Or something.  Anything.  Just be quiet!
It didn't happen.

At one point I actually wished I had kept little tally marks for the amount of times I was woke up from one issue or another.  It was at least 20.

"Mom..I want the computer."  NO.

"Mom...he made me cry." 

"Mom...we cleaned up our bedroom.  Can't we have the computer?"  NO


"He hit me!!"

"Mom.  Mom. MOOMM"

I may or may not have got up snapping  yelling.


These kids need to go to school.  They need routine.  They need structure.

Tomorrow is my last hope.

Next week I start picking up more and more least 2 16's a week plus more regular shifts and still cleaning houses.

I have no idea when the next time I have 2 days off in a row.  (Seems pathetic, but one day is for sleeping after a night shift and the other day is for exciting things like cleaning the bathroom and laundry)

I don't want to be grumpy mom.

And that's what I've become.   Am I the only one?  Am I the only mom who gets grumpy and tired?

Am I the only mom who is silently wishing they were in school?  I see posts all over Facebook about how EXCITED they are their kids get to stay home again.  Is there something wrong with me?

I love my kids as much as the next mom, but I need my space.


For tonight I'm going to make a large pot of coffee.  Hide in my room for a bit spending some time with God.  Begging Him to give me the patience I need...begging Him to help me not fall off the end of the rope where I have found myself.

I'll pull myself together and then make those Valentine crafts with the kids and bake some heart shaped cookies.

Hopefully we can put the past few days behind us and move forward.

Hopefully tonight's attitude can change or someone might have to be sent to bed early.

Maybe even me.


Say a prayer that they have school tomorrow.

They really need to go to school tomorrow!!