Thirty-Three

This month I became older. 

This month was a hard month.

For the past 32 years, I figured by 33 I would have my life together.

It feels more confused and tore apart than ever before.

I need to remember the saying that to make something better you have to tear out all the old.  Maybe in the remodeling stages of my life, the tearing out process is over and the rebuilding is soon to begin??!!

Anyhow.

This was the first year I dreaded my birthday. 

I told my mom I wanted a tea kettle for my birthday.

I love my tea kettle.

Which makes me sad.

Only an old person would get excited about a tea kettle.

But I do really, really love my tea kettle.  And I use it. A lot.

My siblings had all chipped in and bought thick fleece for a blanket for me and Tricie knotted it together.  This made me want to cry.  When I move it will be like taking part of them with me and when I sleep they will be keeping me warm.

We had my birthday dinner a couple days before my actual day.  So when Tuesday rolled around and it was just a normal work day, I was really dreading it.

But I have amazing co-workers who made it great.

Everyone remembered.

Brandon wished me a happy 53rd.  Thanks.so.much. Brandon.  {Insert sarcastic font here}

Norma treated us to Cinnamon Rolls.

Eugene gave me a Tootsie Roll.  Which made me smile.  Then I realized he gave everyone a Tootsie Roll.  Let's pretend he did it in honor of my day :-/ 

Doug took a picture of me which then Mike blew up and printed.  It was taped on the wall with a note "Happy 37th Birthday Julie"  To which I promptly changed to '27th'. 

That night I had 15 dozen cutouts to make so I ran over to mom's to use her kitchen.  She surprised me with dinner and (a second) angel food cake- my favorite- with DQ ice cream.

What was expected to be a miserable day ended up being pretty good.

What is so hard for me is to look around and see most everyone else my age is married and settled while I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I 'grow up'. 

Then I thought about it.  Growing up is boring.  I'll just take life as it comes and laugh through every moment.