This morning I sat down with my coffee to read the Bible. I closed my eyes and prayed for many things. One of which was His guidance in the next couple months, in helping me find a job and a place to live in CT. I actually had the nerve to tell God that I’m at the end of my rope; I’m done fighting, I’m done struggling. I need this to go smoothly and simply because I cannot take it anymore. I am tired of that feeling of drowning in things to do and children to help and essays to write and resumes to submit. It’s just too much. I asked God to make this road easy.
I opened to Acts 28 and it was right in the middle of the chapter. To learn more about what was going on at that point of the chapter, my eyes fell to the bottom paragraphs of my study Bible. These paragraphs give verse by verse explanation of what was happening. In the explanatory verses of Acts 28: 17-20 this is what was written:
Paul wanted to preach the Gospel in Rome, and he eventually got there-in chains, through shipwreck, and after many trials. Although he may have wished for an easier passage, he knew that God had blessed him greatly in allowing him to meet the believers in Rome and preach the message to both Jews and Gentiles in that great city. God worked all things for good (Romans 8:28) for Paul, and you can trust God to do the same for you. God may not make you comfortable or secure, but he will provide the opportunity to do his work.
–Life Application Bible, KJV
In all honesty, it wasn’t really what I was hoping to read. I wanted to read about flowery promises of how easy life will be, not about chains and shipwrecks. I know that God will take care of us, even if He doesn’t always allow things to be easy. I need to remember I grew the most and learned the most in my greatest trials.
Just pray that all of this doesn’t consume me. That I have the energy to do everything I need to do, most importantly be a mom. Some nights this seems to take back burner, when I’m dead tired and have a list a mile long to complete, I don’t give my children the attention they deserve. Pray that a decent job will open up and that I find a place to live that the children will feel at home.