Distorted

Ever have a day, week, month, time in your life, that you just feel overwhelmed, lost, and confused?

That's where I am right now.

I'm managing the odd work schedule; but its tough.

One nurse asked me today if I moved in.

She said "I left late yesterday and you were still here.  I came back today and you are here again....did you move in?"

I'm thankful for the job and the hours.

But with trying to move, it just makes things a little hairy.

I'll get through it.

I always do.

But whats really dragging me down is the lack of direction in my life.

For over 3 years I was so focused, so driven, so determined to succeed in moving east.

God was clear, I was focused.

No matter what obstacle; I worked through it.  Simply because I had a clear goal in mind.

Now?

I have no goal.

I have nothing to work towards.

I go to work.

I try to schedule in sleep.

I juggle kid stuff.

I do laundry.

Life is empty for me right now.

Rather bleak.

I'm thirty-three years old and I have no direction, no goal, nothing.

I'm alone.

Yet surrounded by too many people.

I'm fighting a lot of emotions.

Some are just caused by lack of normalcy in sleep.

Most are deep-rooted, painful emotions that I must fight through.

I'm a fighter.  I'll survive.  I'll beat this.

But it is hard

I'm fighting against emotions I don't have the energy to fight against and can't find a reason to fight against.

***
I realize to some I am talking in circles; riddles perhaps.

Fill in the blank with your own 'somethings' you are fighting against.  Are you fighting against something you don't have the energy to fight against?  But must fight against them anyhow?

Then you'll understand.

***