Saturday, October 19, 2013

Happy Sweetest Day. Bah Humbug

Warning:  If you don't want to hear negative rantings, don't read any further.  Sometimes I use this blog to be uplifting (which I try) and other times I just have to write the honest truth about how I feel.  Sometimes its pretty; sometimes its ugly.  Today, I'm feeling kinda blunky.  Consider yourself warned.
I realize Sweetest Day is just another day that a company created to increase profits.

Actually, if you look in the history of it,  Sweetest Day was actually created by a Northern Ohio company and is still only celebrated in Ohio.


So. much.

Its not about the lack of a card, or candy, or flowers.

It about the lack of someone there.

Its the fact that I'm not anyone's #1.

And most likely I won't ever be anyone's #1.


I know I have my kids.  And I love them and they love me.

But lets face the facts.  Kids aren't typically considerate, thankful, grateful or mindful of their mother's emotional needs.

And them being considerate, thankful, and grateful after they are reminded just doesn't cut it.

I know that our relationship will grow and become different as they get older.

But I want my kids to have their #1 person to be their spouse; not their mom.

(Nothing worse than a man who is still tied to his mama's apron strings).

All I'm saying is that being alone stinks.

There's no one to come home to, there's no one to say good morning to, there's no one to occasionally text through the day and ask how their day is and there is no one to answer that text.  There's no one to tell about something your kid did that was awesome,  there's no one to pick you up when you just can't do another day, there's no one to argue with, there's no one to tease, there's no one.

And knowing that there never will be anyone makes days like today hard.

Even if it is a ridiculous commercial holiday.

Can you do me a favor?

If you do have someone in your life who is your #1 and you are their #1, please tell them.

Forget the gushy cards, forget the expensive flowers, forget the gross chocolate covered cherries.

Just give them a hug and tell them how wonderful they are and how thankful you are you get to be their #1.

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