Not Sure

Not sure why I’m nervous about tomorrow.

I’m usually very independent.

But, thinking of sitting there alone.

Waiting for the report.

Waiting for her to make it to recovery.

Sitting with her while she wakes.

Holding her while she cries.

Going through it alone.

No one to be there for emotional support.

No one to hold me up if something would go wrong.

Her.  In pain. Sitting alone with a stranger  nurse while I get the car when we are discharged.

Instead of with her mom.  While the dad gets the car.

She. Sits alone in the backseat riding home. In pain and drowsy.

Instead of curled up next to her mom.

While the dad drives.

Crazy thoughts.

Unnecessary worries.

I’m not like this.

I don’t usually need anyone to hold my hand.

I can usually handle it alone.

But this?

This is scary to me.