So God made a farmer...

I love this clip.

No, I'm not a farmer.

But I come from the heart of farmland.

Maybe at one point in my life, I wanted to run from it.

Maybe not so long ago, I didn't think where and how I was raised had affected me at all.

It wasn't until I was offered the job at Travelers and then was told what line of Business I would be supporting.

(I work with a specific line of business and help them work with IT to implement system changes)

When I was told that I would be supporting the Agriculture line of business I had to laugh.

I was moving to work in a big city...to work in farming.

***
It was my second week of work.  I was overwhelmed, tired, frustrated with myself for not learning faster, and just plain exhausted.

I had a short training session scheduled with one of the VP's of Agriculture that I will be working closely with.  At the time of the meeting, I didn't have any ideas of what it was about.  I figured it was how our roles interact, etc.

It was to teach me about farming.

'Bob' is a great guy.  He is nice and so easy to work with.  However, I could almost sense a frustration of sorts when I first walked in the room.  Later, I wondered if it was because he was going to have to teach this girl about farming and probably didn't really have the time to try and explain to a girl what farming was.

He sat down next to me and explained that we cover property and liability, but our specific division doesn't cover production...and that I probably thought that the farmer who milks the cow, puts the milk in the jug.  And that the farmer who grows the grain makes the grain into flour.

I honestly didn't know how to react.

My first thought was: "PEOPLE REALLY THINK THAT???????????"

I honestly didn't know what to do.  Thoughts were swirling around in my head.

Do I respect him and let him go on?

Or do I politely interrupt and tell him the truth?

I honestly don't remember what I said or how I said it.

All I remember was words tumbling out of my mouth and then eventually said:

• My grandpa was a dairy/chicken farmer
• My dad managed a farm equipment store
• My brother in law is a grain farmer
• And I worked at an orchard for 3 years
• I grew up in farmland Ohio. 

The look on his face was priceless.

It went from 'I have to tell this chic about farming' to 'WHOOHOO someone who knows something about this topic!'

Our session soon went from 'myths about farming to discussions about risks of crop insurance, Farm Bureau and other such topics.

He had even heard of Wayne County, Ohio.

***

So maybe I'm not really a farmer.

I'm not out working a million hours a week to keep America fed.

But what I am doing is helping to keep the computer system going so that farmers can be insured properly.

That counts towards something, right?

I left Wayne County to get to work in farming.

Life is funny sometimes.

Home

Its been a month now.

The first few weeks brought bumps that I didn't expect.

There were the adjustments and unexpected emotions that had to be dealt with.

Then all of a sudden, life seemed normal.

It is home and now feels like home.

I can't begin to describe the peace and contentment that I have.

I am finally home.

I hear many comment  with:

"You did it! You didn't give up even though it took 3 years!"

I have to laugh.

It actually took me 21 years.

I first knew this was home when I was 13.  I finally made it now that I'm 34.

I may have taken the long route, but I made it.

Breathless and shaky-legged ,yes, but home nonetheless.

There are still some obstacles that will have to be hurdled.

We are still looking for permanent housing, which is our only glitch.

Long story...but the house we were going to move into had some issues came up on the landlord's end so the deal fell through. We are staying in a small apartment that is home we look for to settle into.  Right now that is the biggest hurdle, and I have a 'crew' out looking for someplace for us to call home.

I came across this picture tonight and thought it said it perfectly:

We need to be content, but we also shouldn't hold on to things, ideas or concepts.  So often the things we think are exactly what we need end up taking the place of something that God wants to give us that is much better.   

*** 

We head back to Ohio next week to get Riley.  

I haven't seen him since Easter and this mama is rather lonely for her boy.  

(I could say that there is a boy really lonely for his mama, but I don't want to embarrass him!)

Rhianna and Reagan are doing remarkably well.  They have made so many new friends and are doing great in school.  They love their teachers, principal, and the kids in their classes.  

Things couldn't be going better! 

Thanks so much for your love and prayers! 

Please pray for us to find a home and also for Riley as he makes some big adjustments.  

Love you all!!

-j

'Mom, you look like a widow' and other wonderful compliments!

Reagan was up late with me watching me scroll through Facebook.

He happened to see my cover photo.

Which is this:

He said "Mom.  You look like a widow in that picture!!"

I asked him why he thought I looked like a widow. 

He said it was because I was wearing a scarf over my hair.  

(This picture was taken in February at a Connecticut beach.  It was cold!)

This didn't really make sense so I asked him:

"Do you know what a widow is?"

He said "Yea!!  A widow is a homeless woman"

Uhhh??!!...

This comment came a few hours after Rhianna had asked if I there were cars when I was little.  

"Um, yea..." 

Then asked when she thought cars were invented. 

"1800's?"

I guess that makes me a very old homeless woman. 

*Sigh*  

Oil of Olay wrinkle control sounds like a great investment.   

****

Other than recent the recent setbacks (the ones mentioned above), we are doing wonderfully good here. 

My 3rd week at work proved to be the roughest so far.  I think the newness wore off, but I still didn't feel settled.  My brain would hurt from all the information being shoved into it.  (I'll write soon about what I do along with pictures of the city) 

The next week went much, much smoother and we seem to be settling into a routine.  

We are in the midst of finding/finalizing some permanent housing for us.  We are in a great little apartment temporarily while we take some time to find a house that will work for us. 

Other than the housing search, the kids and I are doing great.  We have made so many wonderful friends and it feels like home here in Connecticut.  

I pinch myself when I think this is all a dream.   It is really is that wonderful. 

All I can say, is to those who read this who are struggling.  Don't give up.  Keep looking to God and keep plugging away.  Someday God will give you all the desires of your heart...in His way and in His time.  When that time comes you will have to pinch yourself too.  

I have so much to write, and will write more soon. 

Thanks for all of your prayers, encouragement and love.  

I couldn't have done this without you.  

Better late than never...another update (Weeks 2-3)

Another long overdue update!!

Things are going great! I haven't had a chance to blog as frequently as I would like because  I don’t have internet access at my apartment because it is only temporary and figured it would take a few weeks to have the setup, I might as well wait until I am into the house I will be renting.

I might have to figure something else out…going without internet is proving to be difficult. 

That is one excuse for being weeks behind on the blog, another is I’m still letting thoughts roll around in my head and let reality sink in.

I never did write about my first week at work.  And I haven’t yet written about the kids’ first week here and now that they are 2 weeks in, and one week of school done, I realized I need to write or all of these things will soon be forgotten.

Week 1: (April 14-17^th)

I started work on Monday, April 14^th.  I had orientation in the morning.  I met a woman who is working in a different building and has a completely different role there.  She is so sweet and we seemed to hit it off.  (About a week later she looked me up in the company white pages and found me…we now have a day set aside each week to meet for lunch.) 

She has a completely different job than me and couldn’t have a more different background.  (She grew up in a Middle Eastern country, moved to Ireland, got married and moved to Conn.)  But what we do have in common is we are both mothers (she has a 15 month old) and we are both new to the company, etc.  I’m so thankful God placed her in my orientation class and that we could already be friends.

After orientation, my manager met me downstairs and walked me up to my cube.  She handed me my laptop and a box of office goodies.  I worked on getting everything set up with the help of my cube neighbor.  Already, I call her my work mom.  She is quiet, but I know she would drop everything to help me. 

The rest of the day is now foggy in my memory. 

Tuesday-Thursday:

The first week I was here, I was staying with a friend.  We had so much fun, going shopping some of the nights, running to Target and getting stuff for my desk, etc.  We stayed up late every night talking and getting to know each other better. 

Work went well.  The woman I am replacing, and who is retiring, is quite a character.  (Character: a nice way of saying cranky and rude)  Within the first 2 minutes of my training class on Tuesday she had me feeling like I was a 2 year old.  It took me about 2 minutes later to realize it wasn’t my problem, but hers.  I would take her comments and let them slide off my back…or try and see the humor in them.  Some were so rude I couldn’t help but almost laugh.

I also realized it wasn’t me when the managers kept asking me if I was coming back to work after I went to Ohio for the weekend.  At first I thought that was really odd…of course I was coming back; until one confessed that most who trains with her threaten to quit.  I told them I was okay, but knowing it really wasn’t me and that they had my support was comforting.

Wednesday afternoon, someone asked me something about my previous job and co-workers.  I answered them and then the tears threatened to fall.  I started thinking about my nurse’s and the three I adopted as little sisters.  It takes a lot to make me cry, but here I was sitting at my desk crying over the co-workers/friends I left behind.  I realized then how much I missed them and how close I had become to them.  

I’ve met so many amazing people at this company and the management is incredible.  Everyone is polite, helpful, and friendly.  I’m so excited to be a part of the team there.

I drove back to Ohio Thursday after work.

Week 2: Monday-Sunday

Monday morning we pulled out around 3 am on a few hours’ sleep.  I was doing okay, but a few hours into the drive, I had to stop to sleep a little bit.  I ended up stopping a few times to take a quick nap.  The drive there was much harder than I anticipated.  The further we drove, the harder it was.  I wasn’t expecting these emotions and more than once I found myself crying.

I prayed and prayed and then remembered that so many people knew I would be on the road that day and also would be praying for us.  It came to me then that these emotions of fear and apprehension were coming from Satan.  I knew I wanted to move here when I was 13.  Twice when I was single and young, I almost did but chickened out.  He was there the whole time telling me it was too hard and too scary.  I couldn’t let his voice win and scare me into turning around and driving back to Ohio.  I drove on, recollecting the hundreds of times God proved to me I really was supposed to move.

We made it to Conn. about 12 hours later.  I can usually make it in 9, but stopping so much slowed us down.  We found the apartment and unpacked the car and soon after my brother in law pulled in with the truck and trailer.  A handful of men from the area were there to meet us and helped us unload.  We only unloaded the necessities and then drove the trailer over to another trailer and moved the rest of the stuff into there.  When the house opens up we will just drive that trailer and unload it there…much simpler than a storage unit. 

At this point I was mentally shot.  They would ask me questions (where to put what) and I couldn’t answer.  They were so kind (and teased me a little) and understanding that my brain was fried for the day.  Their welcoming kindness and love made the evening so much easier.

We came back to the apartment and then my brother in law said goodbye.  I didn’t expect it to be as hard as it was.  He was staying with a couple from church and then was pulling out early the next morning. 

Monday night I sat in my recliner looking around.  I can’t explain the feelings I was feeling, but overwhelmed was at the top of the list.  I stopped myself from thinking and realized that I was beyond overtired and when I get that tired nothing looks right and everything looks too hard.  I went to be, thankful my manager had given me Tuesday off work as well.

Tuesday morning we slept in a little and then went off to the kids’ school to turn in the paperwork, etc.  We found out who their teachers were and we met Reagan’s teacher but Rhianna’s teacher was out for the day.  We met the principal and he spent a few minutes talking to the children.  He was kind and welcoming.  He spoke to me a little, but focused on the two children.  That made me so comfortable to see he was wonderful at interacting with the kids and treated them well.  By the time we left, the kids were excited to start school.

We had been told that they needed a physical and a TB test.  We found a quick-clinic and everything started out great.  Until we got to the finger poke to check blood volume.  Once Reagan’s finger was poked, it was all over.  He started screaming and running around uncontrollably.  He had never, ever done this in public and I was doing my best to calm him down. 

Once we finally calmed him down enough for the doctor to come in, it went a little better.  Then it came time for the TB test (at this point they had taken Rhianna out of the room and did her physical and TB test in the other room) He screamed and screamed.  I did exactly what the book on parenting says not to do: I bribed him with a toy AND a doughnut.  I just wanted to be done and get us all out of there.  

After a few attempts, he finally let us do the test and be done.  Later that night he told me he planned to scream…that the needle really did scare him, but he was going to scream like that anyway.  Just to make me mad.  Honestly, I ‘m not sure if he really did have it planned, but I pretended to be mad at his little scheme for a minute before tickling him and snuggling him.  I knew that both kids were at their emotional limits and this wasn’t the week to punish. 

And as his treat he got a little Lego set and a doughnut.  That’s bad parenting!  But in the grand scheme of things…I still think it was the right thing to do. 

Wednesday-Friday:

The kids went to some people’s house from church, forming new friends and playing with old friends.  They have gotten to know one lady from church and when they find out they get to see her they always cheer.  I’m so thankful for her friendship and help in getting us settled in. 

The TB test couldn’t be read until Thursday, so that night after work we found our way back at the clinic.  I threatened Reagan vehemently that if he screamed again he would be in SO MUCH trouble.  He just grinned and said “I know”.  Thankfully, there were no screams.  Only smiles.

Friday I was able to get out of work a little early to make it back to the school in time to turn in their medical paperwork.  The kids were okay’d to start school on Monday!

Friday night we had pizza at some friends’ house and let the kids play.  We went home around 9 and crashed.  It was a good week, but a tiring one.

We slept in on Saturday and spent some time at the Laundromat, had ice cream, and went to a park.  It was a fairly uneventful day which is what we needed.

Sunday was our first ‘official’ Sunday at church.  We were welcomed lovingly and I didn’t see the kids most of the day.  They were off with friends and they chatted my ear off on the way home. 

We found out at church that there was one girl in 3^rd grade at the elementary school Rhianna was going to.  (There are other 3^rd grade girls at church, but they all go to the other elementary schools in town).  We also realized that they have the same teacher!  There were some girls with smiles on their faces!!!  I’m so thankful that God orchestrated this. 

We had been invited to someone’s house for dinner and had a wonderful time there.  I know them fairly well, but it was good to spend more time with them and get to know them even better. 

Week 3: Monday-Friday

Monday morning was the kids’ first day of school.  The secretary said we could come in a little early so I could walk them to their class and Rhianna could meet her teacher. We told the teacher that Rhianna knew the one little girl and the teacher said “No way!  I had no idea, but I put you next to her!!”  Again, a little gift from God to make it easier.  Since then Rhianna has come home and I hear all about the fun that she has with her new friend(s).

The kids did great.  And work has been amazing.  They told me that I could come in a little late and leave a little early to help the kids settle in school.  I have work I can take home and my manager said she didn’t care if I took it home, that helping my kids was very important to them.

This week flew by.  The kids act like they have been at this school all their lives and work doesn’t feel so new anymore.  I’m starting to recognize faces in the halls, I know where things are, and I know how a typical day should go.  I’m starting to pick up on the lingo and during meetings I am starting to be able to follow along.  Taking the bus doesn’t seem so scary anymore, it is rather relaxing and I enjoy the ride in to work.  I know we all have a lot to learn, but we are starting to settle in.  

We are all doing great.  The worst is being separated from Riley, but we talk multiple times a day.  We are half way done and in a few weeks I’ll be back in Ohio for a week to get him.

Everything is going so well, so when I started feeling blunky the other night I couldn’t figure out what was bothering me.  I thought about my past few weeks and realized that it was a bunch of meaningless little things that were adding up and creating a shadow of frustration. 

Little things like I don’t know the shortest way to Target.  I know how to get there, but I know I’m taking the long way.  I want to make cookies, but can’t because my stuff is still in storage, I can’t get my mail, (I tried to get a PO box, but it takes so long for approval, I’m just going to wait until I’m in the new house to get a mailing address…which is why I haven’t given it to anyoneJ) I stopped myself from thinking and realized, once again I was overtired.  I made myself go to bed and in the morning realized all of these new things will figure themselves out and it really isn’t a big deal. 

Yesterday the kids and I are went to the beach.   The sun was finally shining and we are going to go out and enjoy the day building castles in the sand and hike up the rocks.  (Pictures and post to come!!)

This Weekend: Thursday-Sunday

I’m a little behind in keeping up with writing.  

It was a crazy last 10 days, to say the least.

I was going to write in chronological order, but instead I’m going to jump around.

I’ll write about my first week at work later.  Right now I’m going to write about the past weekend and the past few days.   I won’t have internet at my place for a while so my blogging may be scattered here and there.   

Thursday:

I left work around 2:20.  Just in time to make it downstairs, out the door and catch the 2:34 bus.  I made it to my car a little before 3 and then headed west, towards Ohio.

It was a nice drive home, stopping only a few times, once to take a quick 45 minute nap at the NY/PA line.  I made it back to Rittman around 1:30 am.  I crashed on the couch and slept a few hours.

Friday:

Woke up late at 9:30 and started finishing up a few things around the house.  I called the owner of the house (will explain the details later) that I would be renting to make sure she (current tenant) had in fact moved out the previous day like she agreed.

She hadn’t.  And was refusing to leave.

Which meant I had a trailer coming to load up my stuff at 1pm, a job to get back to, 

and no place to live.

The current heart palpitations I had started to have their own chest pains.

I made a few phone calls, and the word was spread.  I needed a temporary place to move into and needed it quick.

Within 2 hours, we had a place.

The truck and trailer arrived promptly at 1 and people started showing up to help.  I was rather scatter brained, tired, and fighting emotions.  I hope I thanked each one who helped.  I couldn’t have done it without them.

We loaded everything up within a few hours and the trailer was shut and driven to my brother in law and sisters house to wait for Monday morning.

Friday evening, before Good Friday service, I went to the hospital to see everyone.  I knew if I went at 6:30p I would get to see 2 shifts worth of friends. 

It was so good to go back.  I needed to see everyone again and spend a little more time with them.

The kids and I went to church and heard a wonderful service on the death of our Savior.  It was bittersweet to look around and see all the familiar faces and know that in a few days I would be leaving this place.  Memories of the past 30+ years came flooding back.

Saturday:

Saturday morning I spent more time at the house.  Cleaning a little more, checking things, etc. 

Saturday evening my friends, Diane and Gail, had a farewell party for me and the children.  I’m not sure how many people came, but there were a lot of people that showed up and I was overwhelmed at their goodness.

I did good not crying until the end when they pulled out three little scrapbooks.  Even in the rush of the past 2 weeks, a couple friends found time to give a scrapbook page to each one of the children’s Sunday School classmates.  Each page was loving done and decorated with memories, pictures, Bible verses, and songs. 

It was then the tears started to flow. 

They had also sent a blank card to everyone who was invited.  They were to put words of encouragement, pictures, etc. on it for me to take with me. 

I loaded up the gifts (yes, there were even gifts!), cards, and flowers from the centerpieces and went back to my moms.

The children and I opened our gifts and then I started going through the cards.  I sobbed through most of them.  So many kind words and memories were written.  People gave so generously.  It wasn’t expected or necessary, but it has made the financial aspect of this move so much easier.

After getting the children settled, I ran out to the store for some treats and then into the hospital to see the other team that wasn’t there the night before.  I snuck in through ER and spent a little time with them down there.  I snuck up to the 3^rd floor and surprised everyone.  I spent an hour or so with them and then headed home.  I was tired and it was late.   It was hard to say goodbye again, but it was great to see them all before making the big move.

Sunday:

Went to church knowing it was going to be an emotional day.  The day was beautiful and so many people offered their prayers and support.

Everyone I spoke to said they would pray for God’s blessings to be upon me.  For the first time in my life, I stopped and really listened to that.  To think about the words and the depth of them.  To have someone ask God to pour blessings upon someone isn’t to be taken lightly, and until this point I always did. 

After the second service, the minister announced that we would be moving.  He said a few words and then said the desire of the Rittman congregation was the same as the words Moses said to Aaron in Numbers 6:24-26:  “The Lord bless thee and keep thee.  The Lord make His face to shine upon thee and be gracious unto thee.  The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee and give thee peace.”

At this  point I had no control of the tears.  To sit among my brothers and sisters and Christ and feel their love and support, in agreement of the words being read, was so touching.  It is an incredible feeling to have that blessing put on you.

The congregation then sang “God Be With You Til We Meet Again” It was so hard to mentally digest the reality that I was leaving.  It was real and I was really moving. 

After church, I slipped over to the cemetery.  I needed to say goodbye to my dad.

I took one of the flowers that were on the tables from the party the night before and planted it at dad’s grave.  I’m sure it will die, but it felt good to give him something.  It felt like I was including him somehow.

I asked my children to stay in the car.  I needed time alone with my dad.

Sunday evening we had dinner at my moms.  The whole family was there and it was good.  We had a great meal and then as the evening went on, we all knew that the time to say good bye was coming soon.

We took family pictures and later realized that when Riley was taking pictures with my sister’s Iphone, he was really videoing.  It was so much fun to see and hear us interact.  My brother would pinch us girls while we were trying to get a picture and in the video you would hear the scream of whichever girl he got. 

We said our good byes and the tears started.  I was doing okay until my little niece started to wail.  She was sobbing and hanging on to me.  It was so hard to say goodbye to all of them.

After everyone left, the kids and I stayed up and spent some time with my mom.  I knew I should get to bed, but wanted to spend time with her and Riley (he is staying with her until the end of the school year).  Finally around midnight I went to bed.  I had to get up at 2 am to load up and head east.

To be cont’ with Monday-Tuesday…..

Leaving Work

It is 3:30 on Saturday morning.  I can't sleep.  I can blame it on my night shift sleep schedule, but truth is my mind and heart are racing to keep up with one another.  I decided to get up and write.  Hoping to clear my mind.   This will be long.  I'm writing it for me to remember later. 

Thursday night was my last night of working at the hospital.  It was much harder than I had anticipated.  Saying goodbye to the co-workers who have become my friends was hard.  I'm usually pretty tough.  I can usually hold off the tears until I am alone, but there was one hug from one extra-special friend that put me over.

She told me how they would miss me and I thanked her for everything, telling her that she had no idea how much I had been forever changed by working the third floor.

For the readers who don't know the 3rd floor at this hospital, it is the main floor, the only MedSurg floor in this hospital.  We get every variety of patients and it is a difficult floor to work.  It is busy, it is stressful, it is constant change as patients of all varieties come and go.  There is a great sense of teamwork on that floor...teamwork being the only way to work on this type of floor with such a wide variety of different illnesses and patients.  The nurses/staff on this floor are amazing.

I thought a lot about how this place changed me.  I know that God needed me to make a short layover there before moving on.  He had people He needed me to meet.  He had people that I needed to cross paths with so they could help me become a better person, and hopefully I helped them too.

I made friends who then let me see where I can grow.  I made friends who then cheered me on.  I made friends who changed my perspective in life.  How that I have a little bit of value.  That is the biggest thing I walked away with...they convinced me I have value to others.

Working as a secretary, at the station-the central hub of the floor, forced me to be stronger, made me more confident, helped me to see my strengths and my weaknesses.  I am learning to let things slide.

Starting out, I wanted to quit.  I didn't think I would be able to handle it at first.  I can't handle someone yelling at me, or snapping at me.  And I felt like I was constantly being snapped at.  I was clueless and had endless questions that I'm sure drove everyone nuts and it took me awhile to realize the stress load of everyone and they weren't snapping at me they just needed someone to listen to them vent.

I decided, in my mind, to change the role of the secretary.  Of course I had my duties of order entry, phones, etc., but I decided to take on the role of taking care of my nurses and aides.  And I didn't take that responsibility lightly.  In my heart they did become my nurses and I decided I would do all I could to help them through their shift.

I've heard stories from my sisters, two incredible RN's, of how difficult their job was.  I tried to imagine all the stress they have.  I knew I was limited to how I could help them, but I decided I was going to do everything I could to make their job easier.  Sometimes it meant helping a nurse prep themselves mentally (and get files ready) to call that mean, nasty, crabby doc they knew was going to bite their head off.  Sometimes it meant simply making them a cup of coffee.  Sometimes it meant making them laugh.  Sometimes it was simply listening to them vent about things. Sometimes it was just cheering them on, telling them they were great nurses and they could get through even the worst of nights.  

I didn't expect it to be noticed.  It wasn't supposed to be noticed.  I just wanted to help them the best I could.

What I didn't expect was the amount of love and support I would be given when the time came for me to leave.

I'm still pondering it all in my heart.

It started with Monday night.  A co-worker ordered us all pizza and then the secret slipped out...they had planned on surprising me with a DQ cake the following night.  I always work Tuesdays and that would be the last night I get to work with that team....except this week my schedule was shifted and I was off on Tuesday.  So the cake didn't work out, but in my eyes, it happened.  The thought really does count.  And I love them for that.

Wednesday was my last day working 2nd shift.  My last day working part of day shift and part of night shift.  Wednesday I left work in tears, speechless.

I first was given a gift from a special friend Sharon.  We have had many gab sessions and she has helped me see me for who I am.  To embrace the things about me that I once disliked.  She gave me a special angel...to hang in my car and remember she is praying for me.

Then, one of the docs came to the desk and told me he had something in the break room for me.   When we walked in he told me that he and another doc wanted to get me something.  He pulled down a cake, but before I could see it, he told me that he wasn't sure what happened but that the cake he ordered wasn't what came.  He wanted it to say 'Best Wishes Julie' or something to that affect.  What came was:

I thought it was rather awesome.  I told him that I thought it was so perfect...hilarious actually.  The only thing that could have been better was if it said 'Happy Birthday Howard' or something equally off the wall. haha.

Honestly, I didn't see a cake that was wordless.  I saw a cake that one busy doc took the time to order and the other extremely busy doc took the time to pick up.  I saw an act of kindness that will never be forgotten.  I felt something that I don't feel too often:  I felt valuable.

I'm not sure what I stammered to him.   I hope I at least said thank you.

A few minutes later I told them I was going to slip over to the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat and return the ultrasound machine to ER.  They had to tell the surprise that pizza was ordered and was going to be delivered at five as a going away party.

I quick ran the US to ER and when I was down there an RN vocera'd me (called me on the little call system) and told me to get back to the break room.  I ran over from ER and walked in.  I saw tons of pizza with a card and a little package, wrapped in purple paper, sitting on the table.

I took it out to the nurse's station and was swallowing my tears.  I did not expect this.  I opened the card and read all the notes the day shift nurses, aides, and other secretaries wrote.  At this point the tears were almost coming out.   I opened the gift and a gorgeous pen was in a box.  Ann told me they wanted to get me something I could take to my new job and remember them all. That they wanted to do something for me because I took care of them.

Seriously.  I was in shock at this point.

I said good-bye to the docs as they came in that evening for their rounds.  I shared my cake with some of them that had been nice to me and told them I appreciated them being kind.

My favorite was the response from the infectious disease doctor.  "You can't go.  We will miss you."  I assured him that if he missed me, I would be willing to page him in the middle of the night and bug him...then he wouldn't miss me anymore. haha.   He asked if it was a good opportunity and I said it was.  A great opportunity that will give my children and I a good life.  He said "go then!"  He asked where I was going and I told him.  He said "Oh. You can't go there.  They have Lyme Disease."  I busted out laughing and told him that I thought I would be okay, but would consult him if I ever became ill with Lyme Disease.  (And I'm quite certain you can get that in Ohio too...so I'm not too worried. lol)

Wednesday night I finished the night and said good bye to those I wouldn't work with again on Thursday.  D and L:  You know who you are.  I love you both and will miss you terribly, but I'm so thankful we crossed paths in our lives. God truly had that orchestrated and had that planned.

Thursday night was my last night.  I was working third and was working with some of the co-workers I have become closest too.  I knew it was going to be a hard goodbye.

One nurse, A, had the night off...and it was her birthday.  She drove in from 45 minutes away and brought in pizza for a goodbye party.  She gave me a card, which made me laugh until my stomach hurt...written with many of our inside jokes...and a gift card to Kohls.  I was stunned at the generosity.

Remember the Date Nut Cake  I attempted to make?  Jerry brought in the real deal to show me what it tasted like.  And he was right.  It was awesome.

He told the elderly baker that I was a co-worker who was moving to CT.  Her response? "They don't make cakes like this Connecticut!"

Then he told her I make my own clothes.
(A joke...but one I don't ever want to forget so I wrote it here so I won't :-)

We all ate pizza and cake until we were almost all admitted for abdominal pain.  It was so good we just kept eating.

Later that night, another RN, 'N' slipped me a card.  I opened it and found a gas card and a kind message written.  He told me later that he bought a small frozen cake and put it in the freezer.  Not for us to eat that night, but for me to take and eat with my kids and celebrate when we get moved.
I found him getting a new patients bed ready and I thanked him.  He told me that he couldn't have made it his first few months as a new nurse without my support...and all the times I helped him get ready to call a certain grouchy doctor.  (Which funny enough, I got to help him prep one more time later that morning:-)

Day shift soon started trickling in around 6:30.

The time was coming when I was going to leave for good.  I knew that this had to happen for me to move forward, but it doesn't make saying good bye any easier.

There were a few nurses I was glad I was able to say good-bye to in person, two in particular.  To be honest, I was almost dreading it.  I knew I would cry and I hate crying in front of people.

'Nic' came in and we immediately hugged, knowing this was it.  She started crying and that was it for me.  I had kept composure for 2 days, but I broke.  I became friends with a lot of people on that floor; but felt exceptionally close to 'Nic'.  She had helped me out so much and cheered me on.
I said good bye to everyone else, giving hugs, and well wishes.

Then I took the coward's route and left before saying good bye to the other nurse I knew I would have a hard time saying good bye too.  There were a couple nurses on nights that I took on as my little sisters and one of them was there that night.  I just couldn't say good bye.  I'm planning on popping in next weekend and seeing her then.  So that was part of my excuse...I'll say goodbye later. Plus, it was time for her to give report to the next nurse and there were too many doctors coming in and too much going on. I knew I couldn't say good bye without breaking down.  So I snuck on the elevators and left.

There have been times that I wondered why God took so long in having me move after He told me to go.  But looking back I see things that happened that needed to happen to allow me to be molded into the someone I needed to be.  One of those things was working the 3rd floor of WRH.

I miss you all, already.  

Odds and Ends

I'm down to the little things to pack. 

The odds and ends that really don't have a specific box they can go in.

But can't really get thrown out.  

I'm thinking of making a box that is labeled 'LEFTOVERS'

So thankful for everyone who has helped.  

A few things to work through, but it looks like its all falling into place.