How we see ourselves

Things appear to be looking up on the job hunt. 

Finally.

Maybe.

I hope.

In a little over 2 weeks a friend and I are headed to Hartford.

I have 2 meetings regarding jobs lined up with a possible third. 

One is with a recruiter.  Just a meeting so he can get to know me better and find other options of placements.  Not one specific job is in mind, but its at least a movement in the right direction.  I'm hoping that when we meet face to face, it will make me become a real person and not just a document attached to an email.

The second one (actually, it will happen first) is with a VP at a large insurance company.  We were introduced through a mutual contact.  Since the introduction, she has become a great mentor and help.  She has helped me see that my accomplishments are accomplishments and not something to be brushed off as nothing.

I am meeting with her on the first day and she plans to introduce me to a teammate of hers who has an actual position open. 

So it isn't actual interviews I have, but could definitely lead to something.

As long as I don't blow it.

Thoughts have been rolling around in my head.  I have to find the confidence in myself or everyone will see right through me.  (Although I usually do a pretty good job of hiding my anxiety...hope I can pull it off that week :-)

One thing that scares me is the guaranteed question that all interviewers ask: "What is your weakness?" 

I have a long, long list of weaknesses. Talk to me for 5 minutes and you'll be sure to see at least a few.   But how do I pick one and then turn it into a strength when so often I feel like I let my strengths be my weaknesses? 

One night I was snuggling Reagan while he was supposed to be going to sleep, but was crying.  He felt that he was outdone by his older brother.  I kept reminding him that Riley was three years older and of course he could run faster and jump higher...it didn't mean Reagan was not as good.  Riley and I tried to assure him that Reagan was a better athlete than Riley was at his age.  He just needed to keep growing. 

Reagan wouldn't hear any of it.  Finally, I whispered "I wish you could see yourself like I see you" and he snuggled into me and went to sleep.

Later as I was stressing thinking about how my meetings would go and how I could pull of a confident/professional look, I wondered if God ever whispers "I wish you could see yourself like I see you" and how most likely I don't hear that whisper because I am letting the noise of self-doubt and worry scream in my ears.

I am asking for prayers over the next few weeks.  I so badly need to find stable employment and this long job hunt is getting difficult.  I will do my best to update the blog daily and let you know how things went as they progress. 

I'm looking forward to our trip.  I'm planning on 2 days of interviews/meetings and then 2 days of catching up with friends, meeting new ones, and just relaxing.   I'm excited to introduce my friend to my CT friends  family and favorite places.

I'm homesick and ready for a visit.  Few understand how I can be homesick for a place that's never actually been my home, but I am.  And I'm ready to be there for good.