Sunday, December 1, 2013

Total Trust

This past summer/fall was a hard time for me.

Things just weren't going as I planned and with that other things happened.

I found myself in a difficult place.  One I didn't know how to get out of.

I went to someone I have total trust in for advice.

They told me what they thought I should do.

And even though it was impossibly hard.  I did it.  I followed their advice.
One evening I was sharing this with a friend.  She asked how I could just not question things and just do what they told me {she agreed it was good advice...just hard to follow}.

I told her that I knew this person loved me.  I knew this person has only my best interest in mind.  I knew this person would only give me the absolute best possible guidance.  Yes, it was indescribably difficult, I knew that for things to turn out good I had to follow their advice.
In sharing this conversation with another friend, she said "Isn't that how we should be with God?
Just trust that no matter what He has the best intent for us."

It hit me that I don't have that.  Deep down, I don't have that total, unwavering trust.

I have a teeny-tiny bit of faith.

I know it in my mind.  I could probably recite multiple verses about it.

But I don't know it in my heart.  Right now, I'm not feeling the warm feelings of total trust.

I realize I have some work to do.

I want to get back to the point where I feel it in my heart.

Am I alone in this?

Or does anyone else question things?

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