I was talking to the guinea pigs one night after work while I was feeding them. (Yes, I've turned into a sap with them. I adore them) I realized that Nolan's ears are different. One is black and stands up while the other one is white and flops over. If he was a little boy, he would probably hate it. But it is one thing I adore about him. The other thing that is unique and darling is his hair (fur?) on his head has a flattened spot that makes his hair spread out, spraying across the top of his head. I think it is the cutest thing ever. But if he was a boy he would probably load it up with gel and straighten it out. Just so he would look like everyone else. That thought made me kinda sad.
It made me think...if what I love most about this guinea pig is his imperfections, then maybe my imperfections don't make me completely unlovable either.
When I was talking to my friend at work, I remembered a YouTube video I saw that really hit home. I used to struggle deeply with lack of self-esteem. Thankfully, I've started to slowly turn away from that lie. To realize that just because I'm not perfect and even though I have a lot of work to do, I am worth something.
It is hard for me to look in a mirror and not look in disgust. I see every misplaced freckle and how they are uneven across my face, I see my uneven eyes, I see my reddish complexion, and my dirty dishwater blondish blech hair. And if I could cut off my lower half of my face and replace it with something different, I would. But when I watched the video I realized that I need to stop focusing on the things I don't like and focus on the good things that God gave me.
This isn't a cry for attention..please, please! don't post a bunch of comments giving me sappy compliments. Its not what I'm looking for! Compliments make me feel worse.
I'd want you look inward and see your own beauty and your own strengths. Share with a friend or a teenage daughter who is struggling with this lie Satan brings to woman to crush us. I just wanted to write the truth about my struggles in hopes that it can help someone else who feels the same about themselves. Hope that they can see that they are beautiful and they aren't isolated in their struggles.
I don't know if I'm the only one who struggles with this. As I get older (and slightly wiser??) I realize that it is the abnormality to not struggle with some of these same issues. And as I get older I'm learning that the weaknesses that God gave me are actually some of my strongest strengths. There are some positives about being over 30.
Here's the video. I hope it speaks as loudly to you as it did to me. Warning: You might need
One thing I found that was so interesting to me is that when I saw each of the woman that was interviewed I wished I was as beautiful as them. But to hear their story they probably wouldn't have thought that about themselves...
What I loved is that the image that they have of themselves is not at all what they look like. Hardly any resemblance at all. Yet the stranger who briefly saw them was able to give a better description of them and their sketch was more accurate. That says a lot, doesn't it? How different is the sketch we have in our mind different than the reality of who we are as woman?
Each one of you are so beautiful and a perfect creation of God. Just love yourself and be all that you have to offer.