After writing the Isaiah 43 post, I thought a lot about it. And maybe God isn't preparing me for something to come, but assuring me for what I'm in right now.
I work a lot. Which is fine. I need to and I can. But what isn't fine is the swinging from shift to shift day to day. Like five days in a row starting with third to second to first back to third can feel a bit much. I'm okay physically but its very hard on my kids. Maybe that's what God is telling me..that they will be okay.
I just want them to grow up and remember good times, not the times when we weren't together. Or the evenings after working the night before when I laid down for a 'quick' nap only to wake up a few hours later. I don't want them to remember not being at home every night to sleep. I don't want them to remember dinner being thrown together the nights we were home to eat together. I don't want them to remember that I didn't get to read them the Bible every night.
I want them to remember that we played games together, did puzzles together while listening to Odyssey, I want them to remember that we would sit around and read the Bible and other fun books at night. I want them to remember that I would bake them treats for their classes and sports teams, I want them to think that this happened all the time and not as something that was an occasional occurrence.
I want them to remember that this wasn't my choice, but something I had to do. That I would rather be home with them, but I had to provide for them. I hope that they gain strength from this and not become bitter.
I have tonight off. I work this morning for a few hours, but then the afternoon and evening off. I can't wait. I'm not sure what we will do, nothing exciting but just be home together.
I have some potential possible opportunities. Just a hint of a whisper of something. I'm not going to get excited or hopeful that this will work out. (Confession: I already am excited :) I'm going to try and stay realistic. This opportunity will change things. Not necessarily make life easy, but a hint easier.