On Plowing

I have a confession to make.  And anyone who knows me knows how true this is.

I'm a plow. 

I just bust through whatever needs to be busted through.  And get it done. 

Could be because I'm German.  Could be because I am a Bauman. 

Not sure which. Most likely both.

I am sure though that I am a plow.

I'm struggling with some things that even though I push and pull with all my might I can't bust through it. 

And I don't like the feeling.

Then I remembered one time when I was dealing with something similar and I complained to my friend: "Why doesn't God ever give me a break?  Why doesn't He ever just hand something to me?"

Now. I realize this thought process is totally and completely ludicrous.  God does give me breaks all the time...and He has handed countless things to me. 

But He wasn't handing the thing I wanted handed to me.

Shame.on.me.

Her response was "Julie. We are like plows.  We just tear into and bust through everything.  If God didn't constantly pull at the reigns with us, imagine how bad our lives would be?" 

I had to stop and think.  This is so true.  I am such a plow.  Or horse.  Like a draft horse.  One that just pulls and pulls until the job is done. 

Doesn't this look just like me?? Check out the awesome 'shoes'.  If I were a horse I would totally want shoes like these!

But I had to realize that even a draft horse has a driver.  With reigns to guide it.  The driver doesn't let the draft horse go too fast or the horse will tire before the job is completed.  The driver doesn't let the horse veer off course or imagine how messy the field would be.  The driver doesn't let the horse take a wrong turn into dangerous places. 

So. I'm a horse. Pulling the plow. That is constantly plowing. pushing.pulling.  To get my work done.  But I am oh so thankful that I have a driver who is willing to pull back on my reigns and slow me down.  And I'm thankful that driver loves me enough to keep me safely on course. 

Maybe. I should stop being the horse and let God do the hard work.