Saturday, April 9, 2011

Shivers Down My Spine

I don't like birds.  At all.  Or anything with wings. Or has claws. Or is wild. 

Or that could potentially:

A: Get stuck in my hair

B: Gouge my eyes out

C: Scratch me with their claws

To sum it up. I'm a wimp. A scaredy-cat. A genuine coward. 

To set the stage:

The kiddos and I were gone for a few days for spring break.  We got home last night right before dinner.  I made sandwiches and we sat down together, calmly eating, discussing the fun we had shared.  After we finished dinner, the kids sat quietly at the table while I read them their Bible story.  I heard a rustling in the living room and couldn't figure out what it could be.

THEN. I realized.  I had left the damper open on the wood stove the last time I had a fire. 

Something.  Some wild creature had fallen down my chimney and was stuck in my wood stove.  And I was terr.i.fied.  I almost threw up I was so scared. 

I thought through it and figured that the thing (whatever it was) couldn't get out of a cast iron stove.  I would just wait it out and let the thing die. 

My boys of course, heroes that they are, wanted to get it out for me.  I wouldn't even let them in the same room as it.  Just in case.

I trembled as I lay in bed.  Scared the thing would get out of the wood stove, climb up the stairs and kill us all in our beds.  I finally fell asleep, exhausted.

This morning while I was getting the kids out the door to go to my mom's for the day I could hear it flapping around.  I had it narrowed down to either a bird, a squirrel or a bat.  I couldn't decide which of the three would be worse.  They all made me squirm in fear.  I couldn't wait to get to work.

I dreaded coming home all day.  Just knowing what I would be facing.  It gave me the willies all day.

When I got home, I opened the door and went to put my load of bags from the day on the counter.  I noticed that a swag of lilacs that is usually on top of the cupboards over my sink was now IN my sink.  Not a good sign.

I whipped my head around in fear looking for the perpetrator.  Knowing it was lurking about somewhere. 
I spotted a blackbird sitting calmly on my overstuffed chair. 

Not actual photo.  I was too scared to take it's picture :o)

I, myself, did not remain calm.  I believe this is what I looked like:

I took off out the door. Racing and screaming "do NOT go in there!"  I threw the bags I had been carrying, along with a pizza, onto the ground.  My boys immediately went inside.  "To check it out mom."  Knowing the safety of my dear sons were at risk, I made them leave the house instantly.

I called down to work and thankfully Dave answered the phone.  I panic-stricken yelled into the phone "Please come save my life...there is a bird in my house"  Knowing I'm a spaz he said he'd be up in 10 minutes or so.

A few minutes later Ron and Dave came up.  They both walked in the house.  Ron walked up to the bird. Picked it up and tossed it in the air outside so it could fly away.

I thanked them profusely and then I think I almost puked in the bushes from the fright. 

Tonight I shall lay down and sleep in peace and safety.  Knowing that I am once again not in any immediate danger. 

(FYI: First thing I did when I came inside was to #1: shut the damper #2 tightly lock up the stove. :o)

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